A few years old now, but no less funny for it...
-------------
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again
asked readers to take any word from the dictionary,
alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one
letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this
year's winners:
1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund,
which lasts until you realize it was your money to
start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid
people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The
bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of
breaking down in the near future.
4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for
the purpose of getting laid.
5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which
renders the subject financially impotent for an
indefinite period.
6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic
wit and the person who doesn't get it.
8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you
are running late.
9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate's disease. (This one
got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending
off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like,
the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting
through the day consuming only things that are good
for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance
performed just after you've accidentally walked
through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,
that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning
and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding
half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and a pain
in the rear.
