Herewith the opening paragraph of a short story I was going to write (back in 2001, apparently). Why I thought I was going to write a short story is not clear, given that I have no talent. Two friends at Downing were always writing poems and stories (which were pretty good), so perhaps I was trying to emulate them. Oh dear...
The shoe, or whatever it was, nosed its way into the world of my face. Something hard and hairy was pressed against my left (or was it my right?) cheek, squeezing my mouth like chewing gum between my awkward, unforgiving ranks of teeth.